Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Teachers
by The Slinky Master
Summary: When four middle school students realize that one of their teachers likes Metal Gear, they flip out and decide it is time that his knowledge of the game be put to the test.
1. Part 1

_**Metal Gear Solid- The Twin Teachers :**_

_**A semi- true story**_

Molly Colleen Sam and Brianna sat there, the four teenaged girls staring at the screen of their Metal Gear Solid game. They had just finished beating the Hind D and were on their way to beating it.

"NO! NO! A !! PRESS A!!!!!!" screeched Colleen, "DON'T MOVE! … … … NOW GO! GO GO GO! NO! BACK! GO BACK!"

"IM TRYING! IM TRYING!" screamed Sam in panic.

"SAM WATCH OUT!" screamed Molly as a missal was fired.

Colleen was having another enthusiasm spasm, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! BACK! THEN FORWARD AND FIRE YOUR FLIPPIN' FAMAS!!!"

"Fire your flippin' what-as?" giggled Brianna.

"AHHH! NO! THE MISSAL!" cried Molly.

Brianna stared up, mimicking Liquid, "Eat this!" she said in a British accent.

The explosion's noise echoed through the room as Molly slurped the last of her slushy.

"Snake!? Get up Snake!" copied Brianna, then in harmony the girls screamed, "SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!?"

The girls again went into their ranting suggestions about how to beat the helicopter when suddenly Colleen pulled the remote from Sam's hands, and Sam pulled back, they went into tug-o-war with it. The two pulled until it flew out of their slippery hands and at Brianna's head. "OW!" she shrieked as the remote landed on the ground upside-down. The landed on the 'A' button firing the Stinger and with a sudden echo of explosion and gun-fire- the helicopter went into video sequence as it flew to the ground. "KA-PLOOSH!" giggled Colleen as Snake muttered "that takes care of the cremation".

"NOOO! LIQUID!" cried Brianna at Liquid's semi- death.

The girls stared up and were ready to go to communication tower B's elevator.

"GIRLS! SAM'S MOTHER IS HERE!" cried Brianna's mom- … they stared at Sam. "Tooda-loo…" they said, disappointed she had to leave but concentrated on beating the crap out of the guards. Though the girls beat the game shortly after Sam left- they were all obsessed even so.

The girls were officially taken by the game's fascinating gore and secret agent-ness. They were more obsessed with it than ever and still becoming more so. The following Tuesday at school- Molly and Sam were in pull-out (our school's study hall) , having the usual odd conversation and the usual odd antics- when they came into debate whether or not they should ask their teacher, Rassmoossen if he liked Metal Gear.

"No _you _do it Molly-" said Sam.

"No- _you, _." said Molly. It went on for a minute or two until the bell rang. Molly, seeing they were out of time to decide who should ask, ran up reluctantly and asked the fatal question.

"Yeah- I've played all the games!" he said enthusiastically.

Molly gasped in awe… staring up at this- this- … teacher, no.. this fellow metal gear fan….

She stood, shocked for a moment, the previous week- her friends and her asked the Math teacher if he liked Legend of Zelda- and they freaked out and typed a story about it ( the initiation by Kingdom-Of-TJ) . Now- this teacher liked Metal Gear?

"Do- do… you like Zelda?" she stuttered, shocked,

"Yeah- especially Ocarina of Time!" he answered happily.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she screamed running through the hallways.

There she saw , the math teacher whom enjoyed Zelda and starred in 'The Initiation'. She was quick to think, " MR SNULL ! " she cried happily.

"Yes, Molly?"

"Do you like Metal Gear?"

"Course-"

He didn't finish, and Molly was screaming with excitement running through the hallways by the time he had his first word out. She ran through until she came to the crowded hallway, franticly seeking her companion, Brianna. There she found vibrantly blonde hair exiting the locker bay and ran through to see Brianna.

"BRIANNA!" she cried as her blonde friend came to meet her half way to her locker.

"Yes Molly?" she said.

"RASSMOOSSEN!"

"Yes?"

"AND SNULL!"

"Yes?"

"THEY- THEY- THEY-"

"COME ON! Out with it woman!"

"THEY LIKE METAL GEAR!"

"AAAAAAAH!" yelled Brianna with glee, nearly dropping her books.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" they both shouted together. Shortly after various curious peers' questions and more screaming Brianna ran to greet Sam and bring the great tidings. She scampered her legs as fast as she could, realized she pasted her, stopped and finally caught Sam.

"SAM!" she squealed.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear?!"

Sam smiled, "OH! That! Yes! I heard!"

They both gave a short scream followed by laughter.

With that they went to their busses and awaited the next day.

Brianna ran into the hallway at second period to see Colleen and walked to her immediately- "Colleen!" she said happily. "Didja hear!?" said Colleen.

"Yeah!" they didn't have time to talk but they were equally excited.

However- by fourth period- perhaps their excitement was a little insane. The teachers were in Snull's room… talking about that week's homework assignment. "… I'm sure they won't know we used the calculator," agreed Snull.

Then, the girls ran in the room, aligned with bags, ropes and bats. "Girls… why do you have hostage tools?" said Rassmoossen. Molly slowly grew a sinister smirk.

KLA-KONK

Rassmoossen awoke to the room, except… the floor was flooded with water and he was floating on a desk with metal tanks floating in the water. He was wearing scuba gear. Metal piping was all around the room and several students dressed to look like some type of guards were walking between floating desks, as they all linked forming a floating desk floor, and metal boxes made a sort of maze. It was gray mostly. It looked somewhat like ... The first level of …

"Metal Gear Solid." muttered the LA teacher.

Immediately he decided just to walk off through the water and go to the door and have those girls expelled, but he saw the water was up to his stomach once he stood, he trudged through and suddenly a Alarming BLEEP! Sounded off as a student-guard-kid shined a flash light at him, "It's the enemy!" she cried. He could see through the student's white ski mask and saw it was Angela- one of the 8th graders, he saw clearly the tall one standing next to her was Jessica. He looked up at the girls, whom were armed with nerf guns.

"Hehe, hey... Jessica and Angela… he-hehe, no hard feelings about the check minuses I gave you right?" he said, quivering. CHH-CHH sounded Jessica's gun as she pulled the back trigger thing-y.

The hail of foam bullets pelted him from all angles, Rassmoossen suddenly heard, "RASSMOOSSEN?! Get up RASSMOOSSEN! RASSMOOOOOOOOOOOOOSEN!" from the loud speaker. He was knocked out by a plastic bullet overload and awoke on the same platform he did before. He looked around and decided maybe he should try to sneak past the guards. He started out by crawling along a wall until having to go under a jutted out vent, or, in this case under a piece of paper coming out from the wall, labeled vent. He snuck past Angela and Jessica to the door and when he opened it- the whole classroom flooded out, pouring Angela Jessica, Desks, and tanks out of the class room and into the hallway, of course Rassmoosen as well was carried away in the up sweep and was caught under water. "RASSMOOOOOOOOOOOOSSEN!" he herd the loud speaker cry.

Once again he woke to a classroom flooded with water, and on the same platform as before, except this time Angela and Jessica were damp with water and the desks were all sideways and upsidedown, forcing the guards to stand on one desk together. Rassmoossen thought for a moment, "..Okay, the door? No can do… hmm…" he stared at a vent, a rea lvent on the side of the classroom. "AH HA!" he cried and heaved himself up into the small space. He began to work his body through the vent system as soom he came to a rat, "EEEEP! A RAT!" he shrieked. BLeeP-EEP rang a familiar sound. "A codec!?" said confused Rassmoossen.

"Rassmoosen," said a voice he recognized,

"Colleen?" he asked,

"Colonel to _you,"_

"…_."_

"Rassmoossen- you have exactly 18 minutes to save the school from terrorists…. Good luck."

"What!? HEY HEY! NO! I- I- am a teacher, NOT a secret agent! And also- it's 18 hours in the game!"

"Yeah- but that would be too easy--- so anyway- good luck!"

"HEY NO! ILL GIVE YOU DETENTION YOUNG MISS UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!"

The other line didn't respond and Mr. Rassmoossen decided to keep climbing through the vent, there he came into…… the roof!?


	2. Part 2

_**Part Two :**_

Rassmoossen stared in horror at what surrounded him and what he thought would come next…. The roof, is where Snake…(gulp) fought a Hind D…. "I'm just a language arts teacher!!!" he cried, not even thinking that he could take on a helicopter. He ran screaming to take cover but there was none. Immediately he heard the faint roar of it's blades. He threw his hands over his head and ducked.

However, instead of a hind D came a children's toy helicopter with a faint roar of rotors. It was bright red and just like a dragon fly it flew in zig zags.

In the school there was Colleen and Sam tugging over the helicopter remote. He heard on the school's loudspeaker the muffled voice of… Snull?

"EAT THIS!" he heard. '_It couldn't be Snull, could it ?_' thought Rassmoossun.

It flew close to Rassmoossen and he quickly snatched at it and with a slight tug, he pulled the plastic rotors off the foam helicopter. "Oh… that was ironic…" he said. And with that he spotted a vent from the side, a real vent and decided maybe he could escape this madness that way.

He got down to scuba position and crawled into the vent. He arrived to only be enclosed and stuck inside the vent--- the other half of his body dangled helplessly off the roof as the other 50% of him was lodged between a (smaller than he had anticipated) vent. He kicked his legs rapidly and had in the mean while budged himself further into the tin can that was the school's ventilation system. There he saw rats and shrieked with fear! The filthy rodents began to nibble on him- tickling him so that he burst into laughter. Just then- Mr Farlie came upon the roof to have his coffee break for some strange reason, the principal stared at the legs jutting out of the vent followed by strange laughter, he simply shrugged and left back down to the teacher's lounge.

Then Rassmoossun's codec BLING-ed, he put his hand to the device and listened,

"Rassmoossun! This is Miller," said the speaker, whom he found was Brianna.

"Yes Miller?" he asked a tad frightened,

"Those rats are north American common rats. They survive by… _(what's that word say colleen? I can't read anything in this encyclopedia!) _…. OH They survive by photosynthesis_… (NO YOU IDIOT! That's north American cocoa plants! Not common rat! _) … Oh ya know what- they're rats ok?! So follow them!"

"Um… OK… to where?"

" … "

"Fine- don't tell me! Not wise words for someone grading your ELAs!"

"Just follow them Rassmoossun. GO… you have only 6 and a half minutes."

"WHAT!?" shouted the teacher panicked.

No one answered back so he once again began struggling to remove himself from the situation. He wriggled himself until he could just wriggle enough to move through the vent. He couldn't go backwards, but if he could wriggle to the other end- he could get the heck out of there! He began to move the left half of his body then the right, soon like a caterpillar, he was wiggling through the vents. He finally emptied himself upon the long back hallway, it was different though. There was a hose admitting gallons of water into the hall way so that ( thanks to the cheap heating ) it froze into a long ice rink. He looked at the other side where tiles from the ceiling were removed and replaced with a gaping steel railing, made to look like somewhat of a balcony over the exit of the hallway. Mr Rassmoossun gulped and slowly came towards the beckoning doom. He quickly took a step and soon enough he went sliding away down the long hall speeding to the exit. He shot right across the smooth ice, thinking that this little accidental short cut was a great result of slipping. However, soon came out of the corner of his eye a blondish brownish figure, clothed in a olive shade of tan army suit. He suddenly felt as though he was going in slow mo as a red dot gradually slid with ease upon the ice, grounding itself on his forehead. Soon came CHH-CHH- … _Plink_, followed by "RASSMOOOOOOOOOSSUN!" being screamed through out the loud speakers. He awoke to the roof again, "WHAAAT!?" he cried gasping with awe and fright that he was back on the roof.

"I WAS ALREADY HERE!" he cried.

He stared at the vent, in which he knew was infested with rats, and shuddered. Then, to his shock he saw a stair case to the school yard. "… Note to self : observe my surroundings more carefully," he lectured himself. And with that scampered down the stairs into the school yard. It was strange… it was covered in soap bubbles! Off in the parking lot's edge was a hose connected to an (overloaded with detergent) washer bubbling up everything. It kinda looked like snow. Behind a tree a red dot appeared again and Rassmoossun screamed and ducked behind a table. Unfortunately that table was full of holes.

"Darn our budget!" whispered the teacher panicking. The red dot followed the teacher and he soon got a good look at the shooter. It was a blondish brown haired woman, not one of the girls and possibly paid. IT WAS ! She was the another one of the school's teachers, the health teacher to be exact - but why would she shoot him?! Soon he scrambled behind a tree and attempted to hide there. Silence. All that was seen was a red dot that flew from ground to tree seeking it's victim.

Suddenly a herd of 6th graders stampeded into the school yard after lunch chasing a soccer ball. "NOOOOO!" cried Rassmoosun in slo mo again as he was pushed out of his hiding his place into the open. He suddenly was kicked by a bunch of children as they tried to find the ball which had gone flying after it struck Rassmoossun in the shoulder. The ball when spiraling to Mrs. Roam and struck her between the eyes as she fell dropping her nerf gun. Mr. Rassmoossun ran to her side as the children gathered round screaming "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"

"…Growing up in the USA… there was much fast food …. Everyday there would be family and friends being fat beside me…" she coughed, wheezing uneasily.

Spencer ( one of her students) suddenly came around a tree, "NO!I had extra credit!" he said tearing out a piece of paper.

"She gone…" said Rassmoossun getting to a stand.

"NO! What have you done?!" cried Spencer. He broke into tears.

Rassmoossun began to walk away… he had to finish his mission. BLING BLING ……..


End file.
